Seeing as how I am crazy excited for tomorrow’s game but am still trying to pull myself together from the past few sucky weeks and thus have exactly no actually helpful things of my own to say about it, I’ve decided to continue my tradition of posting completely ridiculous versions of other people’s legitimate pep talks.
Brief background of this one: I discovered a number of things while exploring the different websites of all the teams involved in the IFAF Women’s World Championship: one is that there are a lot more teams than I would have thought there were (with some seriously kick-ass names), and another is that Germans take this shit really effing seriously.
I’m not kidding, man. This site kinda gives the IWFL site a run for its money (well, from what I can tell, what with not speaking German and all), and here’s a blog that I think is mostly about the recent world championship. There’s a post from that blog that I’d like to share with you all now, because the fact of the matter is this: no matter what language you speak, no matter what team you play for, no matter what particular connection you have to the game of women’s football, at the end of the day there’s still nothing funnier than pain medication combined with online translation engines.
I’m pretty sure this post is about the German players’ observations of the motivational posters put up by the Canadians in their shared lodging, most of which seem to involve metaphors about geese. As with the earlier post, I highly recommend that you read it out loud (or get someone else to):
Although on the plant four teams live here, one gets oneself only rarely to face. Either one is on the way or the others. With all one can converse, at most contact has one however to Canada, because they divide with us most houses. So we must come from the Staff each time by a Canadian corridor around to our rooms.
The Canadians we hung many Motivationsspüche up. So for example the picture from Friday Night Lights with the saying “CAN you fuel element perfect?” or Al Pacino with “inches”.
In addition also hand written articles for motivation over two Canadian game geese, which that saw to coach here. Geese ensure for each other, work in the team. Who cannot do no more, can be dropped back and the Führungsarbeit** takes over the next whole. If it needs a break, a goose remains with it. When eating one watches out, while the other one eats. The usual motivation saying. The geese do not make however, because they are geese, but Canadians!!!
But we found most beautiful still: My more better is more better than your more better. Good, more better, stock it is not sufficient to want to be only better. We will give today our BEST in order to win.
Fuck yeah, we will.
** As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I know absolutely nothing about the German language so I have no idea what “Führungsarbeit” means, but is that not, like, the scariest thing you’ve ever heard? A bunch of geese are flying together and one drops back and gets TAKEN WHOLE BY THE FüHRUNGSARBEIT? Holy shit! Attention, all Militia running backs: tomorrow, run as if the Führungsarbeit were on your heels. You have the admiration and support of the Backseat Coach, me, and possibly Al Pacino.
