Author: militia cheerleader
With motivation like that, who needs jackasses?
I have stuff & stories about yesterday but those are being temporarily preempted so I can address what I am dubbing the Manchester Hullabaloo.
The Manchester Hullabaloo involves some phenomenal jackassery from the coach of the Manchester Freedom, who this morning made several negative and insulting posts on Facebook about the Boston Militia’s game last night and their advancement to the champ-pimp’n-ship. I’d repost them here, but in true jackass style, the posts (plus subsequent comments) were deleted shortly after people started responding to them.
The gist of one was that the San Diego Surge would be the Militia’s undoing, etc. etc. The other, which I responded to and therefore remember better, went a little somethin’ like this:
You have to wonder how much a championship is worth when one team can coast through a game and still destroy the other team. The Militia won last night…but DID YOU?
Oh, man, where to begin? First, this might become my new BUT DO THEY DARE KICK OFF TO TARA STEPHENSON? Donaldson on the carry, and she moves the ball forward enough for another Militia first down! BUT DID SHE?? I’m going to hit the snack bar to get some water before the halftime rush. BUT ARE YOU?? Try it! It’s fun! (BUT IS IT??)
Second: gimme a friggin’ break. Was it the absolute best performance the Militia’s ever given? Nah. Does anyone give 100% of their A-game 100% of the time? No, they really don’t. It’s clear to me from talking to some of the players last night & reading their posts about the game that they are well aware that they weren’t in finest form. It’s now up to them to figure out what to do with that, since – regardless of the “quality” of their performance – they have in fact earned the right to advance in the playoffs.
Third: here’s where it gets interesting. The Manchester coach who made the posts then told at least two people that they were really meant to have a positive effect on the Militia – to “fire them up” so they would step up their game and play better in the championship.
I’m not sure I believe that, but here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter. Either way, the guy’s a jackass. If he really DID mean for those comments to be some sort of reverse psychology motivation, that’s insulting not just to the players but to the Militia coaching staff as well. Don’t presume to coach other people’s teams, you jackass. It’s stupid, disrespectful and tacky.
And if he just made up that explanation once he saw that a) people were going to respond and b) they were going to respond with poise and class instead of returning insults, he’s a lying jackass.
But I think what bothers me the most is that he posted these things on the official page of the Manchester Freedom team. When you post on something like that, you are speaking for your team. You’re representing the coaching staff, the owner and the players. That’s not the time to talk shit about anyone, regardless of your motivations for doing so. Backseat Coach has posting privileges on the Militia Twitter account because he tweets out lots of the games we attend; when he has opinionated commentary, he posts from his own Twitter account, not the Militia’s. (Well, mostly.)
So you know what, Mr. Manchester Hullabaloo guy? What you posted was wrong. Your reasons for posting it were wrong. Copping out by deleting your posts was wrong. You’re just wrong, eight ways to Sunday, and both the team you coach and the team I support deserve better.
What do you get when you cross a championship with fish-n-chips?
Why, a cham-phip-n-ship, of course!
That’s currently the first featured slide on the WFA homepage. Even better, clicking on it brings you to…a press release about how Chicago beat Pittsburgh two and a half weeks ago. Yeah, I understand typos and I understand botched links, but honestly, these women work hard enough to deserve some wicked basic proofreading. See you at the Conference Phip-n-Ship on Saturday!
***
Coda: Overheard thirty seconds ago:
BSC: Cham-phip-n-ship? Nah, it should be a Cham-PIMP’N-ship. [pause] And you know what? If it WAS a cham-pimp’n-ship, we’d fuckin’ win that shit too! We got some pimps on our team. For real.
Chi-town round-up
***
BSC (reading a friend’s comment on Facebook after the game): “Here’s your ass on a plate.” What does it mean?
me: You know, like “having your ass handed to you.”
BSC: Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. I was picturing, like, those decorative plates that you put in a cabinet that have the royal wedding on them or something.
***
As BSC observed [with nothin’ but love of course. – BSC], Kita (#79, DT) posts on Facebook like the Incredible Hulk:
50 us – 23 them. Militia play home next week.
It’s pretty awesome. Kita smash. Also, Smash smash. Ha! I’m hilarious.
***
Things my infant son has completely slept through (a partial list)
1. The largest and loudest lighting storm in recorded New England history.
2. His first and second plane flights.
3. The entire second half of the Militia/Force playoff game. [He was pretty confident it was over anyway. – BSC]
***
So let’s talk about Conway (#74, OL)’s dad. First of all, the man drove 730 miles from Georgia to Chicago in his Reagan-era Volvo to watch his daughter’s game, and that in and of itself makes him even more bad-ass than those of us who flew with our 9-week-old baby to the game.
Backseat Coach, Tiny Coach, Pa Conway & I went to lunch together, hit up a party supply store for ridiculous hats, and then parted ways as Pa Conway wanted to get to the game an hour or so early, and TC needed to nap first. However, when we arrived at the stadium and went to the Militia cheering section, he was nowhere to be found. No one had seen him, and we got no response to the text messages sent to his phone. Had he gotten lost? Had he really made the entire cross-country trip only to be driving in circles around an unfamiliar town instead of seeing the game? Had he been in an accident? Heatstroke? We could not think of a single non-disastrous reason that would have kept him from standing with us & cheering, and by halftime, even those of us not inclined towards panic were officially worried.
So I headed over towards enemy territory to try to find him in the stands (maybe it was too hot where we were?) and I considered the prospect of asking the P.A. guy to make an announcement if I couldn’t find him, just so we could know whether to widen the search beyond the stadium itself.
Halfway there, who should I see walking towards me but Pa Conway, all dressed in Militia red and grinning to beat the band. “Hi!” he said in his fantastic Southeastern accent. “Spent the first half on the 50-yard line tormentin’ the Force! I was the only one there cheering at the Militia touchdowns, so I stood up and yelled extra loud! What do y’all got going on on this side?”
***
You know that scene in Jaws where Brody’s casually dumping fish guts into the water and all of sudden *BAM* RAWWWWRRR comes the shark out of the water with his big ol’ teeth? I have a theory that that’s how Vicky Eddy (#45, LB) approaches anything she wants. We already know this to be true in a football setting (see pulling a Vicky Eddy).
However, last Sunday morning we were all at O’Hare waiting to get on our ungodly early flight. Someone – sorry, I’m not sure who – asked if anyone wanted some hash browns. “I’d have hash browns,” said Alpo (#50, C), getting up out of her seat. And then *BAM* RAWRRRRRR comes Vicky Eddy, fully launching herself over two rows of seats to get there first. Poor hash browns never saw it coming.
***
I have no idea how to pronounce “Chi-town”. Is it like “shy-town”? Or with a hard “ch” like “Ky-town”? Because if you pronounce “Chi” like it’s actually pronounced in “Chicago” it sounds a lot like “shit-town” and that’s just rude. But in any case: thanks, Chi-town! Can’t ask for much more than good french fries and good football. But now *bam*, rawwwrrrrr, onto the next one. ‘Sup, Indy. We’re lookin’ at you.
Last-minute gameday notes (with varying levels of relevancy)
1. Overheard at last week’s game
Random dude sitting next to me: Y’know, I don’t think “Boston Militia” is a very good name.
Me: OK.
RD: I think they should be called “The Steel and Velvet”.
Me: O…K.
RD: Steel ’cause they’re hard and tough, right? And velvet because they’re also soft!
Me: Soft.
RD:: Y’know, like sweet.
Me: Yeah. You’ve never been to any of their afterparties, have you?
RD: No. Can I come to one of the afterparties?
Me: No.
RD’s friend: Dude, that’s the third person who’s told you that name sucks. Let it go.
2. My take on the impending epic rematch between Boston & DC tonight, in the form of a haiku
Hey, DC Divas –
I don’t think this game will go
like you think it will.
3. Tiny Coach’s new gameday outfit
Here we go, Boston, here we go!
P2 postgame post, now with even less pictures!
After each of several excellent defensive plays by the Militia, I found myself yelling “Fish fry!!” This was surprisingly fun, and I am sad that I may only get to do that once more this season and not even in person (our other game against the Sharks is an away game ON my due date, so even if the PTBNL shows up a little early or a little late, the chances of my being there are pretty much nil).
So this begs the question, can you yell “Fish fry” at other teams? Does it make any less sense than some of the other things people yell at sporting events? As far as I’m concerned, it’s still head and shoulders above yelling “Yankees suck” at a Sox/Tampa Bay game, but I might be off on this one.
And if I can’t yell it at other games, can I yell it at other times – like, say, finally figuring out the multi-conditional formula I need to make a spreadsheet work, or getting a really good parking space, or other people’s good fortune? (“Guess what? My supervisor finally figured out that I was pulling the weight of my entire working group and I’m getting a relief-in-grade bonus.” “Sweet! Fish fry!!”)
Yeah, I dunno about that.
—-
OK, so you know how sometimes there’s a play where we’re on offense and we just need to eke out like one or two more yards for a first down or a TD and the whole world is lined up against whoever has the ball but she’s still somehow moving forward? I have a tendency to yell “Push! PUSH!” in those situations, which seems appropriate to me. My sister attended the game with us last night, and after one such push-yelling episode, giggled & said “Hey, pretty soon we’ll be saying that to YOU.” A fine point you make there. (At least I hope it’s that and not “Fish fry!!”)
—-
Dear Sharks player with the bright yellow shoes,
What’s up with your bright yellow shoes? I’m not sure how they appear to players on the field but to us, they keep looking like someone’s thrown a few flags that for some reason are moving around of their own accord. Also they kind of look like Crocs. If it turns out that it’s some memorial thing where you’re honoring someone by wearing that particular color shoe then ok, I’ll feel like kind of an ass. But if it’s just that yellow shoes are, like, your thing, I have to say it’s a bit obnoxious.
xo
militia cheerleader
—-
I am not and have never claimed to be anything close to an expert on the game of football. But I’ve learned more from watching Militia games in the past three years than I did by watching NFL games my whole life, and I can definitely see that I’ve made strides in this area. I can now often spot an illegal play happening before it’s called, for which I am then inordinately proud of myself. I still have a ways to go, however, because while the people around me are yelling “Holding!” or “Offside!” I am still yelling “Hey! You’re totally not supposed to do that, what you just did!”
What can I say? I’m getting there.
—-
The internet radio broadcast of the game by the folks that cover the Sharks can be heard here if you’re interested; we haven’t listened to the whole thing yet but I’m glad it’s there and I’m glad that the people doing the broadcast take the game seriously. However, at the risk of sounding like a nitpicky picker of nits, I do have to say that I am fairly certain that the Militia Dudes at the game represent the Revolutionary War period, not the Civil War.
Speaking of the Militia Dudes, OMG WITH THE FRIGGIN MUSKET FIRE. Please let a pregnant lady know when you’re gonna fire shit off so she doesn’t shriek and lose her already-precarious balance. Also, there was an unfortunate coincidence wherein the muskets were fired right at the same time that one of the Sharks lay down on the sideline (presumably to stretch) but I of course thought OMG THEY SHOT A SHARK. Totally not the fish fry I was looking for.
—-
Overheard in the car on the way home:
Me: Are you going to the away games I can’t go to?
BSC: I dunno. Probably not.
Me: Really? I think you should.
BSC: Well, that changes things a bit.
Me: What, that I think you should go? Dude, I wasn’t asking, like, “How much do you love me”, it was “You’re going to the games i can’t go to, RIGHT?”
BSC: Good to know.
Me: I mean really. Unless I’ve been actively having contractions for a few hours straight already, you totally have time to get to Connecticut, tweet the game, get back and get me to the Brigham.
Cats and kittens and Sharks and ‘dogs
We begin this post with a huge congratulations to Militia OL/DL Big Cat (#95), who brought her little Kitten into the world last night. Kitten represents the first member of the 2011 Militia Baby Brigade, and we wish for her a life of health, laughter and kicking ass like her mama does. Welcome, Kitten!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled post:
So my old buddy Emory Hunt, the Czar of the Playbook, he of the Football Gameplan, posted his pregame analysis of tomorrow’s matchup between the Militia and the Sharks – link here, if you haven’t seen it. Bonus points for the Czar: #28’s last name sounded slightly more like her real last name than whatever he came up with last time. Woot!
The point, however, is that Mr. Hunt predicts a New York victory. And in the “Pick ‘Em – Week 3″ thread on the indescribably ridiculous Ning Women’s Football Forum (to which I plan to dedicate an entire post once I figure out how to describe how ridiculous it is), straw poll has three people picking the Sharks, two picking the Militia. (Interestingly, the Entirely Unscientific “WFA Fantasty Football Line” on the NY Sharks website still has the line as Militia by 0.5, but that deserves a whole OTHER post that I am hoping the Backseat Coach will write. HINT HINT, BSC.)
So yeah, despite my whole thing last week about being fine when my team’s up and fine when my team’s down ’cause that’s life and all, the fact of the matter is that no one wants to hear that other people expect their team to lose (unless you’re Margaret Whitton in Major League, which I’m pretty sure you’re not. And if you are: hi, Ms. Whitton! You should totally come to the game tomorrow).
It was actually bothering me more than I expected, until Schwartzie (#78) made this comment when posting the Football Gameplan video on Facebook:
I like being the underdogs, it gives us that much more motivation and makes the victory sweeter! GO MILITIA!!!!
And I thought, what a good freakin’ point! Man, we haven’t gotten to be the underdogs since, like, May of 2008. This is awesome! We’re David! We’re Butler! We’re the Newsies! We’re the 1980 US Hockey team with way better hair!
So I will be at the game tomorrow, rain or shine, there to support my scrappy little rag-tag underdog team of waifs, strays and hoodlums. And by that, of course, I mean the team that’s gone 26-4 since it started playing three years ago.
Just sayin’, y’all. Just sayin’.
Meet Your Militia: Dot (a.k.a. the Bus) – #39
2010 Superbowl trophy.
© Threepairs Photography
Once upon a time there was a NFL running back named Jerome Bettis, who earned the nickname “The Bus” due to his ability to carry the ball forward even with multiple defenders riding along on his back. This ability (and, thus, this nickname) also belong to Boston Militia running back Dot (#39), whom I have repeatedly watched push forward through seemingly impossible crowds of opposing team members to earn the Militia a first down in crucial situations.
This Bus has another kind of power behind her as well – I had the good fortune to be sitting near Dot’s mom during the Superbowl in Texas last year, and if I ever find myself in a similar situation with the Player to Be Named Later I can only hope to be a fraction of how awesomely and enthusiastically supportive she was. How many moms do YOU know who sing songs about their daughters’ plays on the football field as they happen? Not nearly enough, that’s how many.
Dot was generous enough to use some of her already-scarce free time to be this season’s first Meet Your Militia participant, for which I’m very appreciative. Thanks, Dot, and best of luck at the home opener on Saturday!
© Threepairs Photography
I think the most difficult part of playing football is the continuous grind. Working a full time job, the multiple facets of preparing for the game can take its toll in a long season. It adds another term to the equation for work/life balance – it becomes the work/football/life balance. For me all the work is worth the most rewarding part of football. Scoring is always great, making the leading block for a score is always great but the best is seeing the face of one of my teammates light up after doing those things. They are my family and the greatest reward is making my family proud.
What differences, if any, do you think will come from playing in the WFA this year instead of the IWFL?
In light of most of the top teams leaving the IWFL, I think the main difference will be the level of competition. We have an opportunity now to prove ourselves against the best teams every game. I also hope that from that comes more notoriety for women’s football.
You’re a seasoned Militia veteran, while a fair number of this year’s running backs are rookies. When you watch them play, can you see yourself when you first started? What are the major changes you can identify in yourself since then?
I can definitely see glimpses of myself as a rookie in the rookie running backs we have this year. You see the will of wanting to perform well but the uncertainty in their movements. No matter how talented you are, it’s definitely a comedy of errors the first time you put on the pads and the helmet. Then it becomes about settling down and trusting in your ability, teammates and coaches. They have definitely come along very well. I’m excited to see them excel and I hope that I can help guide them and be someone for them to lean on.
I definitely think the best support anyone can have is that of their family and friends. I definitely have this – I call my mom before every game and she usually gives me a rhyme for the game along the lines of us winning and me running over someone. You have to listen to what momma says so it gets me in good spirits and pumped up for the game. Jill, my fiancée, comes to every home game and some of the away games as well. My co-workers come to games and they like to get updates on how the season is going. The company I work for has sponsored the team for the last four seasons including this one. At work, my desk is a stop on the “tour” of the office for potential clients – I’m introduced as a player for the Super Bowl champion Boston Militia. Our fan base and home crowd is growing each season and we definitely have great dedicated fans.
© Threepairs Photography
I hope that our fan base can spread to more communities. I believe we have really good coverage in Somerville thanks largely to the Somerville Scout and our home field being in Somerville. Our friends and family definitely spread the news of the team by word of mouth. It would be great if we could get scores reported in the Globe or the Herald and on the local news…possibly even short game summaries. If high school football can get in the news, why can’t we? There are a lot of people who don’t know that the Militia exist. The fact is that we have a winning program that goes unnoticed because people just don’t know about us. If winning games and championships and winning over critics doesn’t ignite interest and create a buzz I’m not really sure what can.
We hear that you recently got engaged (congrats!!). Inquiring minds want to know: will the reception feature Militia karaoke?
Thank you so much; we are definitely excited. I’m not so sure Militia karaoke will make an appearance at the wedding reception, but hopefully it will make an appearance at the bachelorette party!
Overheard in DC x3, plus bonus visual
Overheard: DC fan to other DC fan toward the end of the game, nodding towards us: “Wonder how they feel being here now?”
How did I feel? Well, mostly I was cold, because it was friggin’ cold. And I had to pee, because I’m eight months pregnant and I always have to pee. I don’t think that’s what they meant, though. I think they were wondering if we were embarrassed to be there in Militia colors, if we regretted traveling down the east coast to watch a game that didn’t go the way we wanted it to. And what I thought was this: if that’s really how you think I feel, you have a pathetic idea of what a real fan is.
Of course it’s great to be a fan when your team wins. That goes without saying. But if that’s all you experience, if that’s all you know and those are the only times you show up (and stay ’til the end), the wins don’t mean as much. I mean, I’m from Boston, ferchrissakes. The 2004 Sox season doesn’t mean that 2003 didn’t happen. They’re equal parts of the story, and the latter made the former that much better – that much more real.
If you can stand it, think for a moment about the last game of the 2009 season when DC scored that heartbreaking touchdown in the final seconds. OK, you can stop thinking about it now. Know what the Militia did after that? Won eleven freakin’ games in a row (including three against DC, ahem). And this is not me saying that that’s what I expect now – that would be ridiculous, especially from someone whose maximum physical contribution to the game is waddling from the car to her seat in the bleachers. But whatever does happen with the rest of the season, I fully intend to be there – in person when I can, and in spirit when I’m, y’know, giving birth and stuff.
So how did I feel being at the game last night? I’m the Militia Cheerleader, dude. I support my team at every single game. What on earth do I have to feel bad about?
Overheard in the Militia Fan Zone, fourth quarter:
Announcer: “Illegal shift, offense.”
Militia Fan: “Illegal…oh, now you’re just making shit up!”
Backseat Coach: (standing on bleacher seats) “I gotcher illegal shift right here, pal!”
Other Militia Fan: “Hey ref, you suck!”
Announcer: “Pass interference, defense.”
Assorted Militia fans: “Make-up call.” “Mm-hmm. Make-up call.” “We’ll take it.” [We all nod at each other.]
Pause.
Militia Fan: “Hey ref, you still suck!”
What can I say? We’re from Boston.
Overheard from cheerleaders WAY cuter than me: Two little girls sitting near us for the first half of the game, there in support of – I believe – Aunt Patty. These girls had it going on:
Go, Patty! Go, Patty!
Don’t get hurt! Don’t get hurt!
Do the best you can! Do the best you can!
Score a whole goal! Score a whole goal!
This was in somewhat stark contrast to Backseat Coach’s own form of gametime feedback (“Hey, Ref! If you had one more eye, you’d be a Cyclops!”). But I suppose they’re equally valid forms of support, each in their own way. (I totally plan to co-opt the girls’ cheers for the rest of the season, however. Yeah, Militia! Score a whole goal!)
Promised bonus visual: My game uniform from yesterday. Click for full effect. Then don’t say I never did nothin’ for ya. 
Ch-ch-ch-changes
Adios, IWFL! ‘Sup, WFA? As most people reading this know, the Militia (along with a whole bunch of other teams) jumped ship from the Independent Women’s Football League and are now affiliated with the Women’s Football Alliance, the other major existing women’s tackle football league besides the IWFL.
Your Militia Cheerleader doesn’t know anything about the backstory of this upheaval besides what she has read on the internet and made up in discussions with your Backseat Coach, but that said, I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. I am nervous about the WFA’s ability to support a gigantic league – esp. given that I don’t think there are tiers involved? But I was never happy with the IWFL’s utter and repeated lack of current game and player stats on their website, which to me seems like a pretty basic thing for a league to be on top of…there’s more stuff, too, but it’s kind of neither here nor there for now; I am just looking forward to seeing if the WFA has its shit together a little bit more.
However, because I am a total selfish elitist, I am sad that there are still not enough resources to support a smaller “top tier” league. (Best of the best of the best, sir! With honors.[sws_css_tooltip position=”center” colorscheme=”rosewood” width=”232″ makeOverflowVisible=”1″ url=”javascript:void(0);” trigger=”*” fontSize=”10″]Sorry, watched “Men in Black” yesterday. [/sws_css_tooltip]) In my perfect world, this league exists & has the finances to actually fly teams to play each other according to divisions and schedules that make sense and are based on the best interests of the game of football, not on travel budget constraints. These would be routinely kick-ass competitive games which would have a greater chance of attracting media attention and potentially major corporate sponsorship…but hey, that’s just my perfect world. Someday, maybe.
Moving on and switching topics, I ask you this: who in the holy hell thought it was a good idea to have four of the first five games of the season be away games when I will be EIGHT AND NINE MONTHS PREGNANT? I mean, we scheduled our friggin’ childbirth education classes around the game schedule, ferchrissake.[sws_css_tooltip position=”center” colorscheme=”rosewood” width=”232″ makeOverflowVisible=”1″ url=”javascript:void(0);” trigger=”*” fontSize=”10″]That’s completely true, by the way. [/sws_css_tooltip] How ’bout a little courtesy? Danbury at 37 weeks, my ass.
On a related note: for some reason there does not seem to be a large market in cheerleader-style skirts for pregnant women. However, anyone who thinks I’m not totally researching how to cut & hem long pleated maternity skirts does not know me very well AT ALL.
p.s. As it turns out, Tiny Rookie (or the Player to Be Named Later, which is a MUCH better nickname that Schwartzie came up with) is, with relative certainty, a little Backseat Coach and not a little Militia Cheerleader – and no, he does not have a name yet, so Schwartzie’s nickname is still completely accurate. We’re open to suggestions, although I will tell you now that I am not naming my son Ernie Boch Junior Junior. Sorry.