Wow! I mean, I knew it was an exciting game, but it wasn’t until I read the recap on the Boston Militia homepage that I discovered just how amazing it was! It’s not every game that you encounter a wrinkle in the space/time fabric like that. Maybe it’s because it was just so goddamn hot.
Sadly, your faithful Militia Cheerleader does not at this moment have time to review the rest of the transcript to see if there were any more extraordinary events that she and the Backseat Coach missed when they were observing the game, but if you happen to know of any, please do let us know.
Next up on “Meet Your Militia” is wide receiver/tight end Weiny (the Artist Formerly Known as RJ) (#85), who was generous enough to take on this interview when I probably should have left her alone to prepare for the Showdown in Somerville (hey, did that guy even show up for the damn toin coss? I totally didn’t see that guy there). However, as evidenced from the photo below, I don’t think I did much permanent damage to her concentration, as she is clearly able to simultaneously run circles around defensive backs AND provide further evidence of the Boston Militia’s odd obsession with Lionel Ritchie.
1. When you’re on the field during a game, can you hear the snippets of songs that are broadcast over the PA system between plays? Can you hear the announcer?
When I’m on the sideline I can certainly hear the music, and I admit I’ll dance a little. But on the field, it’s like white noise. I’ll occasionally hear a teammate screaming my name or a coach directing me, but other than that I have no idea what’s going on off the field. However, I can definitely hear “Brick House” after the four million TDs Mia scores.
2. If you could invite anyone in the world to one of your games (and have them accept the invitation), who would it be? (I was pretty much thinking “famous people”, but you could say “the Rwandan orphan I’ve been sponsoring through UNICEF” or something and make me feel like a tool, if you wanted.)
Hmmm, that’s a crazy question because there are so many people who I wish could see what we do! I’m gonna have to say Vince Young. He made that comment a while back about football being a “man’s sport” and women shouldn’t play BLAH BLAH BLAH. I’m all about proving people wrong, so I would LOVE for him to be front and center at one of our games…he can even stand on the sidelines with us (if he’s not too scared of people knocking him over).
And maybe Lionel Richie could come sing “All Night Long” for us in the locker room?? The whole team would just die of excitement.
Weiny (together with Samurai (#9)) demonstrates why it's not a good idea to make bets involving post-game celebration wardrobe choices.
3. Often, people’s nicknames bear at least some relation to their given name. Your name is Emily W. and your first nickname when you joined the Militia was RJ. Care to explain?
Well, I’m Jewish. Clearly – my last name is Weinberg. So when I was a rookie, Alpo (also Jewish) started calling me RJ for Rookie Joo (yes, we spell it Joo – this is not meant to be offensive, it’s just us having fun) and it really stuck. People started calling me RJ without having any idea what it stood for, and when they found out they thought it was hilarious. Now, there are only about five people who still call me RJ ’cause I’m not a rookie anymore, but they’re still attached to it. Nowadays it’s Weiny (wine-eey) or more recently Weeny…oof.
4. What is something that’s made you feel supported as a Militia player?
I have some unbelievable friends who are just the biggest supporters of myself and of the team. The ones on your website with the sharks sign reading “Hey little fishies…I’m-a eatchu!!” – THAT’S THEM!!! And many more come to the games or are constantly calling and texting to wish me good luck. Some of them are even considering shelling out the big bucks to come travel with us if (and when) we make it to [the championship game in] Texas so they can be there to cheer us on!! And some of them traveled to DC with us earlier in the season and were the loudest fans in the stands! It’s an amazing feeling knowing I have people in my life who support me like that.
I also LOVE meeting all the kids at our games who are so excited to watch our games and meet us. At our most recent game, I had a 9-year old girl approach me asking me to autograph her program. Her parents told me that she found our team on the internet all by herself. Apparently her dad had told her she should go out for cheerleading, which she thought was a horrible idea, so she started searching for girl’s football teams in the area. She found us, asked her parents to take her to the game, and I’m pretty certain that in another nine years, she’ll be playing for the Boston Militia.
5. What is something you’d like see happen that would make you feel more supported?
I would have to agree with Alpo and say that seeing our scores in some of the papers the next morning would be amazing. If all the other professional sports teams are included in the sports section every day, why not add our team to that list? This is not to say that they haven’t done some nice pieces on us in the past, but something more consistent like a score or a game summary would be fantastic! I also think it’s awesome that the Pittsburgh Passion are able to air their games on TV, and it would be fantastic if we were able to do that. Lastly, the day we make ESPN’s Top 10…holy crap.
6. Justin Timberlake: yay or nay?
Well….I was a HUGE NSYNC fan, so JT will always be a yay in my books.
Oh em gee, sports fans, the Backseat Coach and I are exhausted. And if we’re exhausted after doing nothing much more than sit in the stands, yell a lot, take some pictures, tweet some tweets and talk some smack, I cannot even imagine how tired the actual Boston Militia must be. Not that I had to imagine much, since my brief postgame interview with one player went as follows:
Militia Cheerleader: How are you feeling? Conway (#74): I’m. [pause.] Exhausted.
Rest up, fightin’ Militia! You all played an absolutely awesome game in what I believe was approximately 136 degrees Fahrenheit, without the benefit of such luxuries as a freakin’ scoreboard that worked. What the eff, Dilboy Stadium? In almost every respect, I <3 Dilboy Stadium, I really do. And I get that stuff breaks sometimes; I don't expect perfection from anyone other than myself and Comcast. But dude, either get the effing scoreboard to work BEFORE the big giant important game, or have a contingency plan in place that involves more than relying on announcements from a guy who began the game by asking everyone to turn their attention to the midfield toin coss.
And if that really is all you have, freakin' cut the g.d. music when you're saying a thing! We were pretty much on top of the score what with Backseat Coach being the Designated Tweeter and all, and we followed most of the penalties, but we had fuckall idea of where we were timewise in any quarter. I may have started to lose it slightly in the fourth quarter (which I had started to suspect might actually have been the sixth quarter), and wrote out the following with the intention of holding it up against the glass in the press box:
[singlepic id=26 w=320 h=240 float=none]
…but sadly my brilliant plan was foiled by the harsh reality that I am, in fact, 5′ 4″ and could not reach that high from the bleachers. I was also quite concerned about what team photographer Barry Millman would do since he’s been introducing each game’s pics with a shot of the final score; Mr. Millman, if it helps, we made you this:
[singlepic id=27 w=320 h=240 float=none]
Awright, moving on.
Awesome crowd in attendance, and I was psyched to get to say hi to one of the smaller Militia faithful, seen here with her assistant holding one of the several signs she had brought to the game with her:
Also got to say hi to the rockin’ Holli Banks of the Somerville Scout who, along with fellow fan Mel LeFavre, once again swept the Best Props category:
Hope you held onto those sharkies, you two – I hear we’re gonna need ‘em again this Saturday…
I put the pics in this post along with some other ones in the gallery so you can check those out if you want; I’ll close with this one simply because of Barker (#75)’s utterly fantastic “we are NOT amused” look:
[singlepic id=25 w=320 h=240 float=none]
…which might have been aimed at me, might have been due to the interview or might have just been her way of saying that she was, understandably, utterly exhausted. Good night, all!
I am, of course, beside myself with excitement and anxiety over the aforementioned showdown in Somerville tomorrow, and at this moment that’s manifesting in my utter inability to decide whether to paint my nails red with black tips or black with red tips. (I’d post another poll but I think I’m over the Reasonable Number of Polls One Can Post in a Week threshold.)
Your Militia Cheerleader, in case you hadn’t figured this out, is not an athletic person. I have never in my life played any individual or team sport even remotely seriously. I got talked into playing soccer once at a picnic in college and broke two of my toes. (True story.) So I don’t really know what to say to someone before a big game; I don’t know how to help them prepare.
But I figured, who knows what the Boston Militia needs to hear better than the Militia themselves? No one! So it stands to reason that they would be able to give themselves a good ol’ pre-game pep talk, right? Well, THAT I can help with.
In my travels around the interwebs looking for women’s-football-related goodies, I came across a video posted on Boston.com. I’d seen the video before…my guess is that most (if not all) of the people reading this have, too. What I had NOT seen before was the automatically-generated transcript right below the video, which bore this fantastic disclaimer: “May not be 100% accurate.”
So I’m thrilled to present you now with the Militia’s own words, as recorded by some robot somewhere. I separated the text into arbitrary paragraphs, but aside from that everything is direct from the transcript. I strongly suggest that you read this out loud, preferably staging a dramatic reading of some sort. (The ” ––– ” parts are where the robot couldn’t even guess at the words, but I find it’s more fun if you pretend they’re censored curse words and replace them with ones of your own choosing.)
When do women get a chance they’ll line up. And just blast somebody. Never so once I paid so little ––– anything on.
––– it. It’s time. ––– Laying in your body. Is the sacrifice and that element of ––– the contacts when you ration. It’s just so different from any daylight harder hit by Sarah ––– pattern of injuries. Last year in the games and things would mean.
Hamstrings.
Guide means am I think actually outlined above immigrant a lot of it’s taking him like that. –––
Giving up your ––– and now you’re expecting people in the U. So that. Sports. ––– win the most physical sports. But it’s. There’s you know London sudden girls out there yet to stick up for each other the other teams come after. I ––– ninety goes one waves. The sunny mornings I wake up and cracked a ––– this latest. They’re great because you know you played you know contributed expects a tribute to the next three days you’re ––– what I’m doing but then ––– you know that it.
Pregame where you can get in ––– like accidentally destroys ––– for ––– about it. I mean if you’re gonna talk about a diverse group of girls it’s right here you got everything you could possibly think ––– on this team.
Yet if you put us on the team ––– it’s like you know bond. Beyond belief ––– me. I would.
Couldn’t have said it better myself. Good luck, Militia!!
p.s. I put some pics up in the gallery; the settings are still a little wonky but I’m hoping to have time to work on that this weekend. More pics to come as well.
Your faithful Militia Cheerleader is snowed right the eff under at work right now, so you are going to have to do without the usual copious commentary on each of these things for the time being. If I wait until I can snarkily write about each one it might be, like, Halloween or something. And HELLO we are in the midst of a countdown! A countdown to….THE SHOWDOWN IN SOMERVILLE. (Could that dude look any more blasé about the whole thing? Ho-hum, yup, gonna flip a coin, maybe have a make-believe hotdog.)
Yes, that’s right! The Militia are just 1 wind away! (Let’s hope it’s not a mighty wind.)
Since I can’t watch videos at work I sadly have to wait before getting to see what I have been told is the best! show! evah! (which could be sarcastic, actually; I won’t know until I watch it or someone posts a review in the comments).
Finally, I received a fascinating tip yesterday from someone whom I suspect is a member of the rogue underground Militia Liberation Movement: this link.
Just take that in for a minute.
It might be the crazy-making workload or the low blood sugar, but I don’t even know where to start with that one. Not in a “I love/hate it so much I can’t think of the right words” kind of way, just…I have so many different thoughts about it that I literally don’t know where to start.
Ok, “Meet Your Militia” is all well and good but you have to admit it pales in comparison with true professional journalism. (I posted the story as an image and not a link because the site where the article was posted sometimes did that “unexpectedly loud popup commercial that totally busts you at work” kind of thing, but it’s here if you wanna see it for reals. Also, fun fact: this is actually what the headline looked like from the time it was published until yesterday, and until it was changed I honestly didn’t know if it was a typo or the world’s most obnoxious play on words.)
Now, since the Militia Cheerleader loves completely unscientific public opinion polls even more than she loves talking about herself in the third person, please add your vote below:
[poll id=”1″]
p.s. Perhaps you’ve noticed we’ve had a slight redesign. Please let me know if you come across anything on the site that’s not working right, which is fairly likely considering I coded most of it while on Benadryl.
Our first “Meet Your Militia” participant is offensive lineman Alpo (#50). (Please note that I’m not planning on putting players’ real names with their interviews unless they specifically ask; I’m not sure everyone would necessarily want this blog showing up in search engine results if someone looked them up. And while we’re at it, please also note that the disclaimer at the top of this site still applies during this Q&A; the fact that someone was generous enough to take a few minutes to answer some random questions from a fan doesn’t mean they endorse everything else that I write here, yeah? Yeah. OK, enough of that. Let’s get to the good part.)
Besides the thrill of playing, there are a few little things…Our pregame speech by 54, my ritual with the BRAT pack, the National Anthem, the first hit coming out of my stance. Looking around the locker room before every game and thinking how incredibly lucky I am to be a part of this amazing craziness. Check marks and lastly, Lionel Richie. Yes, Lionel Richie.
2. Are there people in your life who don’t like that you play football?
My mom. And my grandfather. I think it’s funny because my grandmother doesn’t seem to mind it too much, as long as I don’t get hurt. But either way, they still support me.
3. We’ve heard that in addition to being a guidance counselor, a high school athletics coach and a football player, you’re also a competitive weightlifter. When you get in an argument or someone just pisses you off, do you think to yourself “Man, I could totally pick you right up over my head and bodyslam you WWE-style right here”? If not, will you from now on?
Haha, not so much the body slam part, maybe just throw them across the room. It is quite similar to a log press, though.
4. What is something that’s made you feel supported as a Militia player?
Since my first game, my friends and family have been supportive. My friends traveled as far as DC and Montreal. Some of the kids I coach take buses and trains to get from Chelsea to Somerville. My dad never misses a home game. And my 11-year-old Godson has this odd obsession with skull and crossbones…no idea where THAT came from.
It’s kinda amazing when you walk into the stands after a game and there are kids waiting for your autograph. One of my little fans who only knows me from coming to the games (Hi Hannah!) saw me after the DC game last year and asked if we could take a picture together. Even with all those crazy emotions running though me, I hoisted her up on my shoulders and her mom took our picture with probably two of the most sincere smiles ever. She may think I made her night, but she made mine.
[Editor’s note: we’ll be posting a link to that article very soon – stay tuned!]
5. What is something you’d like see happen that would make you feel more supported?
I would love to be able to open to the sports section of the paper every week, whether it be the Herald or the Globe, and see the stats from the game, some highlights, maybe even a picture or two. Instead of Monday Morning QB we can have Militia Mondays. Sounds good to me! What else? Highlights on the news. We have been on before, but that was for the playoffs. Other teams air their games on local TV, why don’t we? We have had radio interviews, halftime and intermission interviews during Celtics and Bruins games, ads in the Improper Bostonian, even commercials. And to be paid like the WNBA! Ok, maybe I am asking for a lot…
6. Have you ever locked your keys in your car?
Who hasn’t? Luckily now that I drive a Jeep, it doesn’t happen anymore.
Alpo competing in Strongman/Strongwoman competition, August 2008 Photo credit: Toal (#21)
We are very happy to announce that we will soon be debuting a brand new feature here on Militia Cheerleader consisting of exclusive interviews with those Boston Militia players brave enough to face the type of harsh questions and cutting-edge journalism that one only gets from a tenacious correspondent who just doesn’t really feel like working on the thing she’s supposed to be doing for work so she comes up with capricious questions instead.
Our marketing department has been debating what to call this feature, and recently narrowed it down to either “Meet Your Militia” or (with apologies to Stephen Colbert) “Better Know a Militia.” That led to the following exchange between the Militia Cheerleader and her friend Left Fielder:
Left Fielder: FYI, I like “Meet Your Militia” better. Militia Cheerleader: “Meet Your MOM’S Militia.” Left Fielder: “I Got Yer Militia Playa Right Here.” MC: “Kiss My Militia.” Left Fielder: “Oscar Meyer Has a Way with M-I-L-I-T-I-A.” Wow, that’s good.
We’re planning to move forward with “Meet Your Milita”, by the way; I just wanted to share that conversation with you because it made me laugh so suddenly that I snorted Diet Coke up my nose. May it do the same for you, my friends, may it do the same for you.
