As some of you might know, this site experienced a hefty spike in readership recently (hi, all!) which is both thrilling and a bit nervewracking since now I feel like I have to be all clever and articulate when really that shit just sometimes happens by accident, and the rest of the time it’s just me cracking myself up by saying “BUT WILL THE MILITIA DARE KICK OFF TO TARA STEPHENSON?” for the hundredth time. But hey, if you wanna hang out for that part too, awesome!
And I do kind of wish I had a better filter between my brain and my mouth, because I think it would be a great thing if there were blogs like this that could maybe help the IWFL gain more visibility among mainstream media and the general population, but I think those have to be the kind of blogs that you can send out on Twitter to your fellow soccer moms or email to your extended family or whatever, and probably not the blogs written by someone who decides on her way home from work that today’s post topic is going to be “assholes”.
So hey! Today’s post topic is assholes.
Case study #1: Here’s short piece about the Boston Militia that ran in the Improper Bostonian about a year ago: give it a quick read. So, that Altschuller guy: he’s an asshole. He’s not a raving lunatic, he’s not some dude that you don’t want in the same room with kids…he’s just, y’know, an asshole. It’s not uncommon. But if you look past his cheapshot gender-war commentary, I think he was honestly impressed with the game. And even if he didn’t go to a single other game (which I think is a safe-money bet) at least he has some knowledge of the existence of this as a legit sport, and I have to say I like that.
Case study #2: At the Sharks game last Saturday, the Backseat Coach and I ended up sitting next to some assholes. When I was relaying this to a friend of mine yesterday, she understandably thought I meant people who were heckling or making really vulgar comments to each other or something, when in fact I meant it more as a demographic descriptor. Like “we sat next to some gay guys” or “we sat near some Canadians” or something. They were perfectly civil, it was just crystal clear to me that they were experiencing some major cognitive dissonance around trying to connect the kick-ass game happening in front of them with the names and faces they saw in the program book. I didn’t catch everything they said about how they had ended up at the game (I don’t hear well and I yell a lot) but it was something like, one of them had been invited to a previous game by someone who knew someone on the team, and to his shock, it was a goddamn good game and so the next time the Militia were in town, he decided to go again and bring a couple buddies.
Where I’m going with this whole thing is this: I experience my own cognitive dissonance when I listen to someone simultaneously express admiration for the players on the field and, to use Case Study #1 as an example, “scan the names [in the program] to see who sound[s] hot.” I don’t know what to do when someone – in utter seriousness – praises the power and the poise of the offense after they make an amazing touchdown, and then ignores the extra point kick because they’re busy making jokes about the weight of some of the players on the roster.
So I’m of two minds on this issue: on the one hand, I don’t want to be around or interact with anyone who would spend as much time talking about the players’ appearance as they would discussing their performance in the game. On the other hand, I want as many people as possible to find out about this and get hooked on it like I am. And I kinda think that in order for that to happen, we’re gonna need the assholes.
(I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts on this; please feel free to leave a comment below or use the contact page if you’re shy.)
Coming soon: blast from the past courtesy of the Backseat Coach’s old digital camera pics. Hint: Jada + stiletto heels + football field = AWESOME.
