“––– it. It’s time.”

I am, of course, beside myself with excitement and anxiety over the aforementioned showdown in Somerville tomorrow, and at this moment that’s manifesting in my utter inability to decide whether to paint my nails red with black tips or black with red tips. (I’d post another poll but I think I’m over the Reasonable Number of Polls One Can Post in a Week threshold.)

Your Militia Cheerleader, in case you hadn’t figured this out, is not an athletic person. I have never in my life played any individual or team sport even remotely seriously. I got talked into playing soccer once at a picnic in college and broke two of my toes. (True story.) So I don’t really know what to say to someone before a big game; I don’t know how to help them prepare.

But I figured, who knows what the Boston Militia needs to hear better than the Militia themselves? No one! So it stands to reason that they would be able to give themselves a good ol’ pre-game pep talk, right? Well, THAT I can help with.

In my travels around the interwebs looking for women’s-football-related goodies, I came across a video posted on Boston.com. I’d seen the video before…my guess is that most (if not all) of the people reading this have, too. What I had NOT seen before was the automatically-generated transcript right below the video, which bore this fantastic disclaimer: “May not be 100% accurate.”

So I’m thrilled to present you now with the Militia’s own words, as recorded by some robot somewhere. I separated the text into arbitrary paragraphs, but aside from that everything is direct from the transcript. I strongly suggest that you read this out loud, preferably staging a dramatic reading of some sort. (The ” ––– ” parts are where the robot couldn’t even guess at the words, but I find it’s more fun if you pretend they’re censored curse words and replace them with ones of your own choosing.)

When do women get a chance they’ll line up. And just blast somebody. Never so once I paid so little ––– anything on.

––– it. It’s time. ––– Laying in your body. Is the sacrifice and that element of ––– the contacts when you ration. It’s just so different from any daylight harder hit by Sarah ––– pattern of injuries. Last year in the games and things would mean.

Hamstrings.

Guide means am I think actually outlined above immigrant a lot of it’s taking him like that. –––

Giving up your ––– and now you’re expecting people in the U. So that. Sports. ––– win the most physical sports. But it’s. There’s you know London sudden girls out there yet to stick up for each other the other teams come after. I ––– ninety goes one waves. The sunny mornings I wake up and cracked a ––– this latest. They’re great because you know you played you know contributed expects a tribute to the next three days you’re ––– what I’m doing but then ––– you know that it.

Pregame where you can get in ––– like accidentally destroys ––– for ––– about it. I mean if you’re gonna talk about a diverse group of girls it’s right here you got everything you could possibly think ––– on this team.

Yet if you put us on the team ––– it’s like you know bond. Beyond belief ––– me. I would.

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Good luck, Militia!!

p.s. Link to video & transcript is here.